


hate me, resent me

by cherry_grace



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Multichapter, another angst fic ha, hq, volleyball is not a thing, wow multichaptered for once???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 10:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherry_grace/pseuds/cherry_grace
Summary: real love required real effort... and maybe kuroo didn't want that.





	1. 2 months before

Kuroo nestled in his bed in the dark depths of his room. Why did he feel like this? This whole week he went out with friends. He wasn’t unproductive; he kept off of scrolling through the various and meaningless apps on his phone. He kept himself on his toes and yet here he was. A bland feeling settled in his stomach and made him restless about something he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

Maybe it was because he hadn’t seen Kenma in a while.

He rolled over to his nightstand, blindly clawing in the dark for his phone. A text from Kenma illuminated its screen. Kuroo stared at it like it was from no one special. He forced himself to feel excited; for his face to flush and his heart to beat faster.

_ Kenma, Kenma, Kenma,  _ he repeated in his head like a spell to grant his current wish.

“Fuck,” he breathed out loud in defeat. He lay in bed as the blandness started to turn into a mix of negative emotions.

Kuroo was familiar with this. He felt it once before a year and a half ago. He thought it would never happen again, but here he was living and experiencing it. He proved his past, naive self wrong.

A year and a half ago, he broke up with Kenma.


	2. 1.5 years before

“Oh okay,” the text read. “Bye.”

Kuroo exhaled loudly as the weight was lifted off his shoulders. He sat on the couch, searching for feelings of guilt or sadness. Strangely, he found none. He did feel _slightly_ relieved, but otherwise he felt nothing.

What had caused his feelings to fade after three months? After stopping his playboy tendencies and befriending Kenma for eight months with ulterior motives, it surprised him that things ended this way.

Kuroo was also appalled at how underwhelming Kenma’s reaction was. Just a simple “oh okay” at Kuroo’s “let’s breakup, sorry” and that was it.

 _What do you expect from him anyway?_ Kuroo asked himself, almost chuckling. He closed his eyes. What did he expect from the ever-so-quiet-and-gentle Kenma who _sometimes_ got snappy and bossy? A screaming phone call and a loud knock from the front door followed by a harsh slap? No, something like that he would only get from that one girl in the past that got _too_ obsessed with him.

Even so, Kuroo thought that Kenma should have reacted with just more than that. Kenma’s response irked him, and furthermore reminded him of why he broke it up. Kenma never vocalized his feelings. Though the past girl’s reaction was bothersome, Kuroo felt like Kenma _should_ be beating him up for a breakup that could’ve been avoided if only Kenma didn't go along with it so easily.

But was Kuroo willing to put that much time into their relationship? Knowing Kenma, one conversation would make him aware of Kuroo's problem, but it would take months and more conversations to make a change. Kuroo didn’t want to deal with such a pain in the neck, although he chased the pudding-haired boy for eight months.

The thing was, relationships were aggravating, but with Kenma, he felt like anything was possible. The way they spoke to each other about their future made it sound like they would be together for the rest of their lives. It was like they had already agreed to marry each other. 

Would Kuroo regret making up his mind about making Kenma his lifelong partner at eighteen? There was so much more to life. There were some things Kuroo wouldn’t be able to experience if he had a serious partner. What if as time passed Kuroo would go back to his playboy tendencies while he was still with Kenma and...

He opened his eyes. Before Kenma, Kuroo went from relationship to relationship. Kuroo jumped ship as soon as there were complications. He barely put _this_ much thought into them and now he was reminded why.

Real love requires real effort… and maybe Kuroo didn’t want that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to make this work a little longer and have some chapters in kenma's pov in the present, but i'm editing this again in 2020 and i think it's better if i just leave it at this in kuroo's pov. you don't always get to know both sides of the story.


End file.
